Friday, April 30, 2004

Here's a joke for all of you war veterans.

A general and a private are in a shack waiting for a spy to bring back secret plans. The general is pacing nervously and the private finally asks, "Is something bothering you, Sir?"
The general replies, "It's just that I'm wondering if there are any Japanese soldiers in the area."
The private gets down on his hands and knees, cocks his head sideways, pauses, and finally says, "There's about 27 of them, Sir."
The general says, "I wonder if they're armed."
The private repeats the unusual procedure and says, "Well sir, 9 of them have M-16's, 9 of them have bazookas, and the rest of them are carrying hand grenades."
The general replies, "That's astounding, private! You know all that just by listning to the floor?"
The private says, "Listening to the floor? Sir, I'M LOOKING AT THEM THROUGH THE CRACK IN THE BOTTOM OF THE DOOR!"

Jake

Monday, April 26, 2004

Hi everyone,

Today is a sad day for me. Today is the day that I received my first demerit!! Oh well, nobody's perfect I guess. Let's lighten things up with a little school humor!

- A student grabs a coin, flips it in the air, and says, "Heads, and I'll go to sleep; Tails,and I'll stay up; If it stands on edge, I'll study."

- An angrey student goes up to his teacher and exclaims,"Mr. Tanner, I don't believe that I deserve a zero on my exam!"
The teacher looks up, smiles and says,"Neither do I, but its the lowest grade that I can give."

- A teacher says to the class,"If there are any idiots in this classroom, I would like them to stand up, please."
After a few minutes, an student reluctantly stands up. "Young man, do you really consider yourself to be an idiot?" the teacher asks.
"Not really, ma'm," the sudent replies,"but I just hated seeing you standing up there all alone."

- A college student writes, "To Mom and Dad: Urgent! Please send a Care Package with food. All they serve here are breakfast, lunch, and dinner."

See ya later,
Jake

Sunday, April 25, 2004

How's about a little humor!

An atheist walks into a church and says to the pastor,"I don't believe the Bible!"
The pastor, not really surprised, says, "You don't?"
The atheist says,"Nope. I don't believe that the Bible is true unless it can be proved scientifically. If you can prove one verse, chapter, or book of the Bible scientifically, then I'll believe it."
The pastor said, "Well, alright."
The pastor grabs the atheist around the neck and starts wrenching his nose back and forth until his nose starts to bleed. The atheist cries, "Hey, dude! Why are you doing this!!"
The pastor smiles and says, "I was proving the Bible scientifically to you. It says in Proverbs 30:33 that surely in the twisting of the nose produces blood!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!
Jake

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